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AnnaLisa Scott

Email:  Theworrygames@yahoo.com

Twitter:  @Theworrygames

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/worrypage/

 

 

 

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9 Comments

  1. Hi lisa first of all your blog is really.I just have this constant habit of over analyzing and paying close attention to everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, I do. I even pay attention to how I think and the thoughts I get. It’s horrible, and I honestly don’t know how to escape this. I honestly can’t even think anymore because of this, because I’m always so fixated on my thinking and how it works and all of that. And it’s not just here and there. It’s all. Day. Long. I can’t stop focusing on when I’m thinking, what I’m thinking, and how I’m thinking. For example, if I go downstairs to get something to eat, I’ll ask myself, “was that me wanting to get something to eat? Or was it just my brain telling me to?” That probably doesn’t even make any sense but that’s pretty much the best I can explain it. I’m just overly, overly obsessed with watching myself, my thought process, how it works, etc. Its seriously debilitating. And honestly, I can’t even think of anything else anymore, because I can’t understand how thinking works. Sometimes I can’t even tell when I’m thinking, because I’m so obsessed and overly aware with catching myself thinking about something, and how it works. And sometimes I wonder, “is it me thinking the things I think about? Or is it just my brain reacting to things and processing information?” Or, “how do thoughts happen? What makes someone have a thought? Do they just pop into your head without you noticing, or does the person really want to think about what comes into their mind?” It should make sense, but for some reason I just can’t make sense of it, no matter how much I think about it. It’s really, really bad. It’s like I don’t even remember what it’s like to actually think and be focused on something else, and be totally invested in something other than this crap. I can’t even talk anymore, because whenever I go to talk to someone, I’m overly aware of the very act of me talking and responding. It’s the weirdest thing. I’m also aware that I used to have social anxiety, and whenever I would talk to people, I’d be overly aware of myself. Not in the same way of course, this self awareness is a lot different, but I’d just always be overly self conscious. Now, I can’t understand how that works. Like it just feels like I was never aware of myself being self conscious, if that makes sense lol. I mean I was, like I knew I had social anxiety, but I never actually analyzed it while it was happening, if that even makes sense. And now, whenever anyone talks to me, it’s like I EXPECT myself to be that way. I’ve just been in this funk for so long that I don’t even remember the way I used to act, and how I can even be the way I used to be again. It’s like I haven’t been a properly functioning human being in so long and now my brain is stuck in this completely disoriented mindset. And I can honestly say that I have never, EVER thought like this in my entire life. I’ve been kind of off for the past three months, but this really started about maybe a month ago or so. And it’s not really just thoughts, it’s also the act of just being aware, constantly, all day long. It’s like I don’t know how to BE anymore. I don’t know how I’m going to live on like this, because if I’m constantly overly aware of myself, even my thoughts, then how am I going to effectively communicate with people and be in a relationship and all that if I can’t even function? It really terrifies me that I’ll always be like this and never get better. It just feels like I’m in too deep and that I can’t unthink these things. It makes me want to kill myself a lot because I can’t live on like this. Please help. Any advice would be appreciated.

    1. Hi Faraz. First of all, everything that you describe is very normal and not a sign of any kind of mental illness or or a sign that you are “losing your mind”. It is simply a sign of you being in “hyper-aware” mode due to mental exhaustion, stress, and also contributing to this is some unhealthy thinking patterns you have fallen into. This state of hyper-awareness is the result of your brain putting you in “safe mode”. Your thoughts, behaviors, and the circumstances of your life have, for whatever reason, told your brain that your world is not safe. Therefore it is using the oldest and best protective mechanism that humans have: adrenaline and other stress hormones. It is giving you super powers, including that hyper-awareness so that you can navigate through your world at “peak performance”. This is why you are feeling the urge to overanalyze your thoughts, conversations, etc. Its like a dog with the urge to chew. Its instinct and it feels very difficult to control.

      But you CAN control it. I recommend you go through my steps to anxiety recovery and put them all into place. I also recommend you put a strong focus on breaking the mental “habit” of constantly analyzing, analyzing all the time. You must quit analyzing your thoughts, your moods, your feelings, etc. It is pointless and toxic. It is the mental equivalent of a dog chasing its tail. You have to interrupt that instinct and use your conscious mind to just say NO. Let it go. If you do this consistently, and put the recovery steps into place, you will “reset” and bring yourself out of “safe mode”.

  2. Hi, I ran across your website and find it is really helping me. I too was blindsided by anxiety and panic attacks 2 and a half years ago. I have struggled so much during this time. I went to the ER 10 times in the first year, always thinking I was having a hear attack or dying from some disease. I did have a really bad run of poor health that may have triggered all this. So much of what you write sounds just like me. It really describes me, always a worrier, but never to this extent. My worse symptom has been and continues to be the fear of going crazy! I am afraid all the time, of what I don’t know, just a terrible fear. I am really trying to follow the things you suggest. They make so much sense, I spent 2 years seeing a psychiatrist and what I have read on here has helped me more than those 2 years of therapy. Like you, I also have OCD which started in my teens (I will soon be 60). I learned to live with that and really lead a pretty normal life, up until that first panic attack and my world was flipped upside down. Thanks for helping all us anxiety sufferers! You are a blessing.

    1. Thank you so much for the comment Darla! I am so glad my blog has helped you. I wish you well in your recovery!

  3. I appreciate you even reading my email. I have had many tests already and all r good😊 But… still having these issues I have struggled with the idea of going on medication (which I have not conceded to yet). I feel as if I am at one of the best places in my life I have ever been. So…. that is why this is so confusing for me I have never been someone to understand panic attacks unless I could obviously see someone going through tragedy, horrible event, or maybe struggling with a serious health issue having these. But truthfully I can honestly say not really a big believer in this. I eat fairly healthy try and exercise daily( until lately) practice yoga I know there is a cause for this. I just don’t get it. I know this sounds so cliche but I never ever would think this would happen to me😥.

    1. Have you read my post about personality traits that contribute to anxiety disorders? Click here Read through them if you get a chance some time and see if any of the traits ring true for you. That will be a good place for you to start. If none of those traits ring true for you, and you have no medical issues and no stress in your life, then you would definitely not be a “typical” person who gets panic attacks or an anxiety disorder.

  4. I am 44 years old and also from the Midwest. I drove myself to the ER 2 weeks ago thinking I was having a heart attack. Low and behold I was told it was anxiety. I would diffantely describe as a “panic attack” . The doctor on duty told me they preferred to call it an anxiety attack. WOW!!
    I have never felt or dealt with anything like this in my life. It was uncontrollable, debilitating, and know idea why in the hell this is happening to me!! I am struggling feeling a little like I’m losing my sanity. I have always been an alpha female always in control helped others find there control. I like others have had struggles and horrible experiences in my life but have always overcome. Now after 2 ER visits and multiple doctor visits this is what it boils down too. Also right now in my life I feel as if it has all come together. Soooo… very confusing that this is happening now! Could have been more appropriate at many other times in my life. Heartbroken 😔

    1. Has there been a lot of change in your life lately Heather – whether you consider the change good or bad? Have you had any changes in medical condition/hormones? I’m sure your doctor probably checked for those things though. Excess caffeine, or change in diets? Have you been spending more time inside your head lately or more time alone? Over the years I have learned that there is almost always an answer for why anxiety attacks start happening. If you spend a little time thinking about it, you may come up with an answer. But if you don’t, and you are confident that medical issues aren’t the reason, then you can still recover and get your life back just by taking better care of yourself and refusing to allow yourself to start overthinking what is happening with you. If I can help in any way, let me know.

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The Worry Games
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