The AffirNation is a community I have created to inspire and encourage you to bring the power of positive thinking into your lives by using affirmations in an organized, consistent manner. Every week I will be sharing a new affirmation on social media as well as discussing it in a post here at The Worry Games. For more information, click here.
I almost changed my mind about this week’s affirmation.
I actually made the graphic, read it back to myself and thought “I don’t know. That might be a bit too aggressive for an affirmation group.”
Then I thought “AnnaLisa Scott – what is wrong with you? Listen to yourself! This is WHY this needs to be this week’s affirmation!”
“Demand” is not a dirty word, readers!
Especially not when it is to demand that you be treated with class, respect and dignity. You are not to be made to feel bad by anybody, including yourself, for demanding that you be treated well.
Yes you are kind. Yes you have a big heart. Yes you would probably give somebody the shirt off your back if they needed it. But that doesn’t mean that you have to let people walk all over you because they see you as a soft target and an easy way to build themselves up and make themselves feel strong.
You can be all of those things I just mentioned AND be somebody who people use in sentences such as “That AnnaLisa she has the biggest heart. She is tough too. You don’t want to misstep with her because she will put you in your place if you try.”
Most people reading this who live with anxiety have never had anybody say this to them or about them EVER.
Nor have we ever bothered to consider the fact that we might want them to because we are too busy trying to get people to “like” us and think we are “sweet”. I was 40 years old before I realized that being nice and sweet is great, but it wasn’t satisfying the place in my heart that yearned for something even more. I learned that there was something even better than wanting people to like me. And that was wanting people to respect me.
It’s not about getting people to respect you just so you can say people respect you. It’s not about bragging rights or putting on a show to get admiration from people. It’s about presenting yourself to the world in a way that unashamedly says “I value myself. And you will value me too. And if you don’t, you don’t get to be a part of my life.”
That takes courage. It takes guts. It takes risking not “being liked”, which takes some of us way out of our comfort zone.
The thing about respect is that people don’t have to like you to respect you. But YOU have to like you in order to respect yourself – and that is what this affirmation is all about. Demanding respect from others is the surest way to declare your love and respect for YOURSELF. It is the greatest feeling in the world when you feel your self-love and respect reflected back to you in other’s treatment of you.
It is okay to stand up for yourself.
It is okay to assert yourself and set very firm boundaries regarding the kind of treatment you expect from other people. Its okay if people don’t like you for it and if you drop down a notch or two on their “Scale of Kindness.” You are teaching others how to treat you, and other people’s opinions really don’t factor in to that. And for the record, I have learned that relationships rooted in respect, whether they are business, parental, romantic – it doesn’t matter what kind of relationship it is – are some of the healthiest relationships out there.
Put in ten minutes a day with this affirmation, Nation, and say it like you mean it. Pretend you are saying it to somebody else, say it to yourself, write it down, sing it, say it in the mirror – however you want to do it. Just put in the time. You reap what you sow when it comes to affirmations.
Have a great week.