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I consider myself a pretty “normal” person.
I mean, yes, I have a history of overthinking so hard that I literally detach from reality a little bit and feel like I am floating out of my body. And I am an obsessive worrier who can’t go to bed without taking pictures of my stove knobs – but we all have our issues, right?
But there is one thing about me that maybe isn’t quite so “normal” and its something that I rarely share with anybody in my “real world” because it is perceived as a little “out there” and I have found that it’s not something people are really into talking about.
Sounds like the perfect blog topic, right?
But this is the topic I drew out of my blog box today so this is what I am going with. From what I have read, this topic seems to be a not all too uncommon issue for people with anxiety, and I am not just going to pretend it isn’t just because some people will think it’s weird. I am weird. Proudly so. Anxiety is weird – and some of the things I write about in this blog will be too.
So here we go.
I’m a little bit psychic.
I see things before they happen.
That is something that hardly anybody knows about me, and if I’m being honest, after writing this post still probably not that many people will know. But its out there now. I’m officially an “out-of-the-closet” psychic.
But just a titch of one.
I can’t pick the lottery numbers for you. And I can’t tell you what is going to happen tomorrow. In fact, I couldn’t predict anything about anything if you asked me to.
But I have dreams.
I have dreams that come true on a regular basis. I have dreamt the death of loved ones and then they will die the next week. I have dreamt the death of celebrities – and then they die shortly after.
I remember being 13 or 14 years old telling my mom I had a dream that Desi Arnaz died..she was a huge fan of his……and he died the next day.
I have dreamt about being on roads I had never been on in my “real” life, and then found myself on those actual roads at some point afterward…..the houses, the yards, the winding turns…..all the same.
I dream about rooms I have never been in….then I will find myself in those rooms one month or one year later.
That is an odd one, isn’t it?
But for some reason I dream about unique closets and then find myself looking at those exact closets at some later point in my life. It could be a day later – or it could be two years later. But I see them. When I was a child I had a dream about a closet..a very specific closet..and it was such a vivid dream that I never forgot it. When we moved to our new house when my daughter was a baby, I realized that closet I dreamt about all those years ago, was the closet in her new nursery.
One of my most common psychic occurrences is that I will dream about something, and then wake up and turn on my TV or my computer, and something in my dream will immediately appear on the screen in front of me.
I used to wonder if it was just typical deja vu or sort of a little mental illusion, (I am a skeptic by nature and a myth buster type.) so I started writing down my dreams or telling my husband about them before I turned anything on.
Just a few months ago, he walked into the room as I was waking up and I said “Your niece Jinny. Your niece Jinny and some kind of playground or amusement park and kids were everywhere. That is what I dreamt about.”
He then gave me a cup of coffee and I went on FB and the first post I saw was from his niece.
That was odd because I rarely say posts from her on FB come up in my feed, but I wasn’t surprised.
I handed him the computer and I said “Go to her feed and see if you see any pics like what I described.” He did so and then handed the computer back to me and she had just very recently posted a picture of her kids on an amusement park ride. I hadn’t been on FB since she put it up so I had no way of knowing.
This has happened so many times between my husband and I, that he is a believer now. I have described house fire calls he has been on (he is a fireman), or I have told him who he talked to the day before. Two months ago I woke up and told him that I had a dream about him with a mouse. He said he caught a mouse at work the night before.
Sometimes, as I am describing a dream to him, he will nod and start smiling and I will shove him in the arm and yell “Shut UP!” because I can’t believe he is saying it really happened as I dreamt it. It is still a little freaky to me, even though this has happened many, many times throughout my life.
In addition to my dreams, I also just “know” things.
I don’t know how I know. I just know.
A few years ago for example, around this time of year I became so upset after putting my kids on the bus that I couldn’t go back to sleep. I just knew something bad was going to happen. It was a feeling I can’t describe. Its a feeling of certainty about something and you haven’t got a clue what it is you are certain about – very strange. I was terrified for my kids. And its like a shadow just came over me. I had a daughter in kindergarten and one in 4th grade at the time and it was extremely unsettling and it was all I could do to not just go pick them up from school. If my kids’ school wasn’t miles away I probably would have. I lied down and tossed and turned for a few hours, not being able to shake the feeling, then I turned on the TV and saw the news about the Sandy Hook shooting. I felt like I had been gutted and I knew that was what my feelings were related to. My biggest fear was that something would happen to one of my kids at school and I was horrified for all those parents who had lost their babies.
Sometimes the things I know are much “simpler”.
For example, sometimes I will be talking to somebody and just know they are going to tell me they are from Decatur, IL or some other specific place. Or I will just know that they are going to tell me that they were friends with my Dad in high school. People I have never met before……..I just “know”.
There is no rhyme or reason to any of this. It does seem to happen in cycles though. I won’t have any “happenings” for a few months, and then for a week it will happen – boom, boom, boom – every day. Then my “ability” seems to go dormant again for a few months.
Other than my family I don’t talk about this with anybody. My sister and my nephew both have psychic occurrences happen to them as well, so they believe me and we always tell each other when it happens because we know we are the only ones who “get it” and not think we are completely “out there”.
I actually used to be really open about all of this, because to me….this is normal. It’s the way I have always been – it’s just part of my life. But I have learned over the years to just keep it to myself. People don’t really know what to do with it when I blurt out how I “knew” something was going to happen.
I used to say to people who would friend me on Facebook, “Oh Hi! That is so weird you friended me today after us not speaking for 20 years! I just had a dream about you last night!” That has led to me being quickly unfriended or just no response at all…chirping crickets…so my declaration just hangs awkwardly in the air until I go back and delete it.
My husband always used to say:
“Why do you tell people that? They don’t know how to take it when somebody says they “dreamt about them last night.” You know it weirds them out.”
I would say:
“Well then people need to seriously get over themselves. As if I would be talking about THAT kind of dream. ”
To which he would reply:
“It doesn’t matter what kind of dream you are talking about….it still weirds them out. Not everybody thinks this stuff is ‘cool’ like you do.”
Well, they should. Open your minds, people. There is a big world out there and I bet we only know about .05% of what the heck makes it tick.
Another example is if I tell people that I “predicted” the death of somebody.
Instant eyebrows going up while they say “Oh really?” It basically means they think I am full of crap.
I want to grab them by the collar and say “No! I REALLY did see this happening!” Part of me craves that belief and that validation. But I have learned to just let it go. It makes most of the people in my world uncomfortable.
It is not always to remember to keep my “premonitions” to myself though. I am a “blurter”. Words often come flying out of my mouth before they have had time to go through the brain filter and I have to be really careful of that sometimes.
For instance, when somebody calls to tell me Aunt Patty died, I have to be quick to stop myself from yelling out “Damn! I just got done telling Greg she was going to die this week!” or when somebody tells me something that I dreamt about the night before, my first instinct is to always say “Shoot! I knew I should have written that down because now you are never going to believe me when I say that I knew that was going to happen!”
If I don’t catch myself before blurting that kind of stuff out, it makes for some slightly awkward moments.
Despite the fact that I am not so comfortable talking about my titch of psychics, I love that part of myself.
I think it so cool to be born this sensitive person who can feel things and sense things that nobody else can. Most people just wonder if psychic abilities or tendencies are real, I don’t have to wonder. I know. For some reason I can’t explain, I have this other sense and I firmly believe that there are people out there who experience it in a much stronger way than I do. (Although, I suspect a lot of people who say they are psychic and can communicate with the dead are con artists. I keep an open mind though.) But it is really neat, I have to say , and I feel lucky to be made up in this unique, interesting way. I love that I have a lot to learn about myself and that I “feel” deeply and have so many layers.
Yes, developing an anxiety disorder is also the side effect of all these personality traits I have, but it is SO worth it, in my opinion.
I think this is a really interesting article on this topic, from FeelGuide.com.
It talks about how people with anxiety have very high empathetic skills and can pick up on the energies and vibes of the people they are talking to on a deeper level than the average person and it makes me wonder if those of us with anxiety, as sensitive as we are, can’t pick up on other types of “vibes” that are out there…..vibes or “frequencies” that nobody knows exists. I suppose we will probably never know for sure but its fun to theorize about.
Are you a titch psychic too?
Do you share it with the world and not give a damn who believes you, or are you like me and keep it a secret so as to avoid the doubting eye rollers?
I am now going back to no longer talking about it. 😉
Photo Credit: Pixabay
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